Feeling a bit weighed down? Things didn’t go the way you intended last month? Does your “New Years Resolutions” have you feeling a bit depressed?
Well, snap out of it!
Over the past few weeks, I have received many inquiries about resolutions, goal planning, and of course; the hardest month of the year- JANUARY.
New Year’s Resolutions (January) becomes the hardest month of the year for some people, because they often commit to actions they haven’t prepared for. I like to call them ‘actions’ because they require you to do things that you wouldn’t normally do. Just to be clear, these are really good actions. However, they have no substance behind them. There is nothing in place encouraging you to do ‘that thing’ you said you would. There is nothing helping you carry-on with those actions.
But let’s take a step back and discuss the concept of a New Years Resolution….
For some of you who may not know, this tradition started long ago before any of you were born. That’s right! In Medieval times, Knights took peacock vows for chivalry. Babylonians made promises to pay their debts, and Romans made promises to Janus. It wasn’t until the Great Depression that Americans started to take the New Years Resolution theory seriously among their society. These resolutions are indeed helpful for those who have intuitively thought about their goals/habits and vowed to make prominent changes in their lives. However, it still becomes an unnecessary stress factor to others who are simply ‘making a toast’ among friends. Sure, these are things you would like to change/improve; but it’s possible that you’re just simply not ready for the commitment.
This is absolutely okay. You have nothing to be ashamed of. But, if these are really changes that you want to make in your life, why not be more specific? For example:
“I want to lose 75 pounds this year by exercising regularly, and incorporating a healthier diet.”
This statement is good, but it has so much room for potential. You can be more specific with this goal; which will in return allow you to be more successful. For instance:
- How many pounds would you like to lose per month/week?
- How often will you exercise per week?
- What changes do you need to make in your diet? How much do you weigh now? (i.e. is losing 75 pounds feasible in your current lifestyle?)
- Will you get a gym membership, or will you take brisk walks or runs; and take advantage of floor exercises or equipment you already have around the house?
- How will you track your progress?
- Are you prepared to spend the extra money on healthier foods?
Simple questions like the ones above will alleviate undue stress and give you confidence to make a suitable plan that you can respect; and abide by. You have plenty of time to work on your New Years Resolution, so don’t feel discouraged. Take a deep breath, decide what you want to do- then go for it. Don’t give up. Just make smaller goals that lead to big achievements.
But let’s get more personal…
“This year, I choose to avoid negative people and situations!”
Questions to consider:
- Who are ‘negative’ people?
- What are ‘negative’ situations?
- Have you done something to contribute to the negativity? (be honest)
- Have you been fair?
- Have you given closure to the people and/or situations involving this negativity?
- How can you improve your relationships?
- Have you taken ownership of your actions?
- Are you writing people off because you’re ‘too good’ for them? Or, is it because they require you to respect them?
I’m not trying to play “Devil’s Advocate”. I’m just simply challenging you to be more honest about your relationships and the situations you encounter. Often, relationships and situations have a ‘past’. They didn’t just appear and cause the negativity in your life. However, over time there has been progression. Sometimes, people become negative when they are pushed too far. And, in return we push them further by assuming that they’re the problem. (and vise versa)
Before you end relationships, or miss out on special moments; be sure to think things through. Regret is a terrible thing to cope with. Don’t use your New Year’s Resolution as an excuse to be stubborn.
On another note….
If you truly have Assholes or trivial situations in your life…Get rid of them. Sometimes, waving from a distance is better than stopping to say “Hello”.